@JedsFans' timeline on Twitter

Tweets

1. From the desk of ... @autumnzephyr 7 Apr

   I'm living vicariously through you all ... don't fuck up.

   Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

   Expand
2. WhatserName @IamEveryDayPpl 3 Jun

   Every time a hot guy calls me ma'am a little piece of my hooha dries up and discharges a dust bunny :/

   Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

   Expand
3. C C @ScreaminMomX2 24 Jun

   Sometimes I think Twitter needs a room mom.

   Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

   Expand
4. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 5 Jul

   The evidence was staggering. Either it was dehydrated.. Or the pudding was about 80 proof. #jsntf #ftwot

   Expand
5. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 5 Jul

   “This is the Send All, my friends,” ~Jim Morrison, on some ancient highway pretending toy cash register is a computer, probably #gaf #tbot

   Expand
6. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 2 Jul

   Bing doesn’t like me. It has no idea why. Couldn’t figure it out if it tried, either. #jsntf #ftwot #gaf

   Expand
7. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 2 Jul

   The children of the corn were gassy. They stunk up the whole bunker. Ethanol in the family. #jsntf #ftwot #gaf

   Expand
8. Life Sucks @Dark_Spectre 28 Oct

   I have created a monster. A not unattractive monster, but a monster nonetheless.

   Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

   Expand
9. Scarlett Fever @WittyClitty 10 Feb

   This one time I tweeted about shit and didn't give a fuck about stars.

   Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

   Expand
10. Chrisanna4real @chrisanna4real 12 Aug

    Make love, not subtweets.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
11. CatasTrophy @Ghetto_Trophy 25 Mar

    No, there isn’t a ‘right’ way to do twitter. It’s a pretty stupid habit any way it’s done.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
12. Queen of the Damned @Cpt_Burnout 13 Dec

    I like how Domino's tells me who made my pizza because I like to know exactly whose balls I'm tasting.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
13. Scarlett Fever @WittyClitty 30 Mar

    The sense of urgency is weak with this one.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
14. Nickels @SirEdSur 27 Nov

    If you came here to poison the water with your hate you will not succeed. Most here drink vodka and give no fucks for the likes of you.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
15. Stingz @thatstings 24 Sep 11

    I'm not addicted to twitter I am, however, addicted to the people on twitter

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
16. Eric Komans @erickomans 11 Apr

    I once was able to answer every question on a school psych test with "your mom."

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
17. *LL* @musky86 30 Nov

    Sometimes I take pictures and don't put them on instagram

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
18. freckle face @domesticH 3 Mar

    thou shalt not covet the penthouse suite so much that you scale balconies at 3am dressed like a zombie pirate from blackbeard's ship.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
19. LoveScopes @LoveScopes 1 Aug 11

    #np Too good to miss ==> Jed's A Millionaire - 'She Says' ~• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XWKfJWR0hA&feature=youtube_gdata_player … •~

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    View media
20. Mytwoscentz @Mytwoscentz 3 Mar

    I wonder if Soft Kitty and Smelly Cat are pals in real life?

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
21. Lilly @CosmicCat 18 Feb

    We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
22. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 28 Jun

    "I'm feeling super sonnets. Give me gin and tonic." ~Liam Shakespeare #ftwot

    Expand
23. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 27 Jun

    I had a lot on my plate. Up until about a minute ago. Now, I need to put on some shoes, and see if I can find the broom. #ftwot

    Expand
24. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 27 Jun

    In dream, I asked James Joyce to explain his inane book rambles. He began to talk down at me until, I kinda bumped into his ladder. #ftwot

    Expand
25. System Failure @Michallito 2 Apr 12

    ThePoint of no return,hasn't warning signs when U passin'it Sometimes it has smilin'faces knocking on your back with compliment,but no signs

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
26. Theodora Chester @beingtheo 25 Jun

    Defend you? Pfft. Not if it'll cost me my Favstar status.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
27. Nacho NED Vidal @Nihilist_Ned 20 Jun

    You know what's wrong with Twitter? Not a goddamn thing.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
28. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 11 Jun

    The future's putting words in my mind. And feeding me Hunchberries. Like a Cap'n. #tbot

    Expand
29. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 11 Jun

    On magic mushrooms, I use my electric organ, Advanced Math and Beginner Spanish to combine 3.14 with the word, year, to make a piano. #tbot

    Expand
30. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 11 Jun

    Sounds like it's coming from old people's butts, but just once I wish you wouldn't look at me like I'm nuts. They're smuggling ducks. #tbot

    Expand
31. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 9 Jun

    Your skepticism about the earth being hollow makes it impossible for me to explain anything to you. #tbot

    Expand
32. Lilly @CosmicCat 6 Jun

    I think I need more light in my dark.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
33. System Failure @Michallito 1 Jun

    I had stayed with the impression that gay people are smarter than others.This obsession with marriage,proves me solemnly that I was wrong.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
34. katmeoz @katmeoz 7 Jun

    Only a fool trips on the past. #truth #staypresent #staypositive

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
35. Christopher DiCarlo @CriticalDonkey 26 May

    Some wonderful informal logic from Tim Minchin: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQjqxayxwt4 … Ah, the old post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy; a classic.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    View media
36. LoveScopes @LoveScopes 28 May

    People will forget what you said, people will forget what you do, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Jason Barger ♥

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
37. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 5 Jun

    I do have an advantage in that I own my own dumb truck. #tbot #thebookoftweet

    Expand
38. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 5 Jun

    Whenever I get so mad that I just wanna kick a puppy, I remember about the kitten. # kicksareforkitties :) # licksarefortitties ;) #tbot

    Expand
39. Lilly @CosmicCat 27 Apr

    ~ "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." ~ Alice Walker

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
40. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 2 Jun

    "You're one stinky shit." "You stink more than I do." "Your mama doesn't even stink this bad." "Your mama does." (shit talking shit) #tbot

    Expand
41. Jed's A Millionaire @JedsFans 31 May

    The path I'm traveling likely ends at that Curtain Number 3 up ahead, & behind it, a lifetime supply of canned cream corn awaits me. #tbot

    Expand
42. Hushpuppy 5¢ @everylilthing 21 Aug

    They wandered in the forest till they ran into a white haired man with a smile face who beckoned them to join him on his idiot log. They did

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
43. Blakey Pants @nobettertweet 22 Dec

    You'd appreciate this tweet way more if you could see how handsome I am.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
44. Anonymous Vagabond @EccentricPixie 7 Apr

    tinsel hair & a robotic emerald eye catching creepers as they tried 2 undress her with their mortal eyes her giggles turned them into flies

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
45. freckle face @domesticH 26 Mar

    i learned quickly that you say ok when someone asks how you are and not numb

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
46. Evil Schwartzie @EvilSchwartzie 20 Apr

    All of Helen Hunt's roles require extensive nudity because Tom Hanks is still mad at her for not waiting when he was stuck on that island.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
47. Theodora Chester @beingtheo 24 Jan

    Life can take you almost anywhere. And here we are.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
48. gordon @Lakeoconeebldr 5 Apr

    You know those tweets that are guaranteed to bomb? Trust me, you should send those instead.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
49. pahehpaher @peppahluvxoxo 13 May

    After 20 minutes of thinking I had something to say.. I actually don't And that kids is how great tweets form

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
50. pahehpaher @peppahluvxoxo 13 May

    I'm just puttin this out there.. But.. Some of y'all are still the same self righteous assholes you've always been.. Good for you

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
51. Sly @slyoung5 5 May

    Had to get up early to pick up boxes....imagine that.....and I already have one.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
52. System Failure @Michallito 15 Jun 12

    Under the twitter logo should write the motto: "Nothing it is as it looks like" (unless of course if used by CIA already,I don't know)

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
53. Wonder Twin @WonderTwin36 1 May

    While on my morning walk at the beach, I noticed both the sun & moon were out watching me. Can't help but think, something bizarre's comin'!

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
54. Scott Taylor @ScottTlucky 30 Apr

    Whenever I see DM for Direct Message, I think DM for Deep & Meaningful.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
55. Jesus Jaramillo @jomartin26 30 Apr

    Playing no pressure really slow Sambas at a lunatic asylum sounds fun. I could jam in the corner while they walk in circles & do puzzles.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
56. Don Pearyawn @Don_Pearyawn 28 Apr

    Oh, just laying here balancing quarters on my wiener. What you guys doin'?

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
57. Stephanie @Stephw3687 14 Oct

    Nothing screams "I'm lonely" like I just did in the parking lot to a squirrel.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
58. HASDays @HASDays 24 Apr

    I'd totally go to a tweetup. You all seem like normal well-adjusted individuals.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
59. Crappy Advice Dude @Crappy_Advice 21 Apr

    Walked outside and let the wind blow my mattress hair back into place. Today’s to-do list is now complete.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
60. Darth Kitteus @Restarrts 30 Apr

    I'm in love with your love.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
61. Gone @moreofffme 5 Jul 12

    Twitter is my treehouse.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
62. Rainbow Brite @Cool_Jesse 4 Apr

    Just over here, maintaining my dragononymity.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
63. Hushpuppy 5¢ @everylilthing 25 Mar

    i kissd a prince he became frog 'das waat im talkin bout' say i

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
64. Dusty Hume @DustyHume 16 Dec

    Multiple accounts, pretending and interacting with their other accounts. You always tell on yourselves. Keep going. Please. Eats popcorn*

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
65. N @ClubNette 25 Mar

    Spring: the time of year where our gloves, I mean, clothes start to come off.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
66. Jason Harvey @jason_harvey 28 Mar

    "Well yeah, it's half empty, but it's a huge glass." #TheOptimisticPessimist

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
67. Carbon ated Cryb aby @BizzyFubbles 18 Apr

    Look at my dangle.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
68. Just Call Me Frank™© @JustCallMeFrank 19 Apr

    After a certain age, or level of logic and social responsibility, a man with a vasectomy just becomes so desirable and sexy.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
69. Carbon ated Cryb aby @BizzyFubbles 20 Apr

    So Beyonce is basically saying drink Pepsi if you want to be irritating?

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
70. Don Pearyawn @Don_Pearyawn 20 Apr

    I'm still trying to understand why Twitter lets you reply to your own tweet. It's like they think schizophrenia is a goal.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
71. Evil Schwartzie @EvilSchwartzie 18 Apr

    I used to work for a guy who always said,"I love it when a plan comes together." We hid the men's room key from him a lot.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
72. System Failure @Michallito 21 Apr

    I'm tryin'not use credit card.Not by dogmatism.I can’t stand the guilts that follow,who giggling ironically like a flock of bimbos in myHead

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
73. sweet p @preawsaurus 20 Apr

    i want to be a secret agent like Bond, James Bond, but more secret. like not introducing myself everywhere i go secret.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
74. Shimmy @ShimmenyShe 20 Apr

    Slight nipple tshirt pointers, check! Slight camel toe jog pants, Check! slutty sparkling joggers eyes, check! She is off beach running.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
75. Carbon ated Cryb aby @BizzyFubbles 20 Apr

    I miss hitting eight different stores with a fat wad of food stamps & buying cheap candy to get enough change for my mom to buy smokes.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
76. Dolores @Losephine 18 Apr

    There's this guy at work who either has done every illicit drug known to man or artichokes make him giddy.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
77. Zeke Kastens @ZekeKastens 12 Apr

    The Kennedys started out as bootleggers. Jay-Z sold crack. (This sounded funny in my head.) Where'm I going with this? JayFK-Z. whom whaa

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
78. SarahBeerInTheFridge @SarahR_82 13 Sep

    If i dont do stupid things while im young, i wont have any funny stories when im old. Its called planning for my future.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
79. ClumzyVixen @1stEvilWench 1 Mar

    'I don't think there's a place where people understand loneliness more than here.'

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
80. Dolores @Losephine 7 Apr

    The ballet slippers hanging above my headboard really have to go. If anything I should tape a gutted chip bag up there.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
81. Linda in Disguise @LindaInDisguise 1 Apr

    You guys told me to cut loose the soul-sucking people in my life so I did but they keep ringing the doorbell and yelling "Mommy, let us in."

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
82. Queen of the Damned @Cpt_Burnout 13 Apr

    Fact: The guy in charge of putting pepperoni's on frozen pizza is also in charge of determining your tax return. The more you know...

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
83. Bacon Lemon Diesel @baconlove69 29 Mar

    My boss says I should "do tweets" during my lunch hour. He's so fucking stupid.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
84. blunder rated @blunder_tweets 10 Apr

    Just FYI, you guys are my drinking buddies.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
85. Canadian Mom Goddess @acapellaecho 8 Apr

    Sometimes I'll drive through the car wash just to feel alive

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
86. Furious Styles @AdamAdamleslie 9 Apr

    I only hug people who have TV's behind them.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
87. Linda in Disguise @LindaInDisguise 8 Apr

    My Twitter crush is orange. Get it? Orange Crush? No, YOUR jokes are stupid.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
88. Evil Schwartzie @EvilSchwartzie 7 Apr

    I was going to live tweet this Tom & Jerry cartoon where a deranged monkey painter caused a zoo panic by painting Tom as a tiger, but nah.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
89. Patricia Scott @8s 22 Mar

    I liked a @YouTube video http://youtu.be/jtNVRw-waF4?a  Sandra Bernhard On George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight: INTERVIEW

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    View media
90. paula @paula98270 6 Apr

    I would imagine from tv ads that a lot of you are impotent and have foot fungus and sleep disorders. Sorry y'all.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
91. ReTodd @RubberGlueFU 4 Apr

    My own tribe won't let me in.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
92. The Gray Butler @IAmMrMongoose 23 Dec

    Me: 'Stop flicking my penis!' Her: 'Then stop putting your penis in my soup.'

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
93. The Gray Butler @IAmMrMongoose 11 Jan

    If a plane is flying over Mexico, with 30 people, 5 penguins and the mangos are ripe. What is the value of 'X' if Lady Gaga is seated in 5A?

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
94. The Gray Butler @IAmMrMongoose 22 Jan

    I typed this tweet using nothing but my penis and a pencil.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
95. Simon @simon2271 31 Mar

    I tuck my vest into my underwear so I stay young in spirit if not physically.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
96. Jesus Jaramillo @jomartin26 6 Apr

    Getting your ass kicked & picked on as a little kid is good for ur character but REALLY bad for people who end up working for u as an adult.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
97. Jesus Jaramillo @jomartin26 6 Apr

    Lately, I've been the anchor holding the family in place. The old barnacle filled half corroded anchor, but I still work.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
98. JiJi @prncss_fifi 4 Apr

    If you could teach your child one thing, teach them how to take a fucking joke on Twitter.

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
99. Minty Wafflefarmer @Australianimal 3 Apr

    If a zombie ate my brains, it would starve to death! Haha see I'm implying I have no brains but zombies can't die see how dumb I am? lol omg

    Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

    Expand
100. LoveScopes @LoveScopes 28 Mar

     Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no ones definition of your life, define yourself~H Firestone

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
101. indie claws @Skullcat 29 Mar

     I just go out in public to give strangers more opportunities to judge me

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
102. SpaceSquirrel @sssh_squirrel 28 Mar

     Twitter injury.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
103. Michelle Angus @michelle_angus 20 Mar

     All begins in chaos until that one random action creates order, petals crowd together and suddenly, a rose.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
104. Bill Ruhsam @bruhsam 26 Mar

     Arguments FOR prop 8: Complicated, Long Winded, Logically Fallacious. Arguments AGAINST Prop 8: Equal Rights. I call Occam on this.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
105. Pam @twilighteyes08 31 Mar

     Isn't it refreshing to know that we will all go down in history as the great philosophers of our time?

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
106. Commandant Grayza @JayElem00 29 Mar

     The fuckery in this Walmart self checkout line is palpable.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
107. WhatserName @IamEveryDayPpl 30 Mar

     I gave up chocolate too for Lent which is why the kids are getting headless bunnies tomorrow :/ well that and because fuck them ..!..

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
108. WhatserName @IamEveryDayPpl 30 Mar

     I see I've still got my 5 star average *rolls eyes* ..!..

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
109. nerdamage @nerdamage 30 Mar

     It's confusing when someone retweets something smart.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
110. Don Pearyawn @Don_Pearyawn 30 Mar

     Wait a minute! The new Pope jacked the old Pope's Twitter account. So much for THAT commandment.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
111. Aspersioncast @Aspersioncast 30 Mar

     I know I left the washing on the line all night if I see a news report looking for a guy wearing a Zombie Tshirt & a pair of frilly panties.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
112. Just Lee @Just_Lee_ 30 Mar

     Still waiting to be chosen as someone's date to the Twitter Prom, you guys. Just letting you know.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
113. James @ubu4roi 24 Mar

     Sometimes I retweet your subtweets as a subtweet back to you. You know who you are. Jim

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
114. blunder rated @blunder_tweets 29 Mar

     I will crush your pixie girlfriend between my real girl thighs.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
115. Mommy_P @TheMommyDearest 30 Mar

     I like to wear a t-shirt with a big cookie on it that says "I Eat Carbs" to the gym. Thug Life

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
116. Mommy_P @TheMommyDearest 30 Mar

     Appreciate without comparing.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
117. The Amiest Amy @iammaylynn 30 Mar

     I fell in-love all over again with someone I am already madly in-love with & broke my hip. Kidding, I was trying to to do a keg stand.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
118. Jesus Jaramillo @jomartin26 30 Mar

     Complain, complain, complain about watered down beer. Drink, drink, drink when it's free.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
119. Madame LaCrooz @MmeLaCrooz 19 Mar

     Please don't tell the cat he doesn't rule the world. I want to break it to him slowly, like I did with Diana Ross, and Sarah Palin.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
120. Lynne Caban @lynne_caban 26 Mar

     Internet was down for a while but now I'm back to join the crazies .......

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
121. blunder rated @blunder_tweets 24 Mar

     Looking back, I think it was my failure to get his Star Wars reference that put the final nail in that particular coffin. There is no try.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
122. not so funny bunny @_whitewaves_ 24 Mar

     not even noon and i've pissed off another family member. they're dropping like freakin flies.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
123. Sly @slyoung5 24 Mar

     Sometimes you win, sometimes you slap them upside the head.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
124. Scott Taylor @ScottTlucky 23 Mar

     Some labels are unfortunate. I am wearing a shirt with the label: "big fit". The "f" looks like a "t". I don't want to labelled that.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
125. Indian Bread Maker @Cognitive_Diss 23 Mar

     I’m in the mood to RT all kinds of stupid shit.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
126. gordon @Lakeoconeebldr 25 Mar

     One more picture tweet and I'm blocki....."Oh, what a cute kitty. What's his name?"

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
127. blunder rated @blunder_tweets 25 Mar

     My boss wants to know what I do all day and I'm thinking of being honest, getting fired, and starting a commune.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
128. blunder rated @blunder_tweets 25 Mar

     Always have to resist the urge to end messages to my boss with "Now leave me alone."

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
129. The Dork @The_Dorkster 26 Jan

     How many Retweets does it take to ruin a time line? The answer is 0.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
130. Gone @moreofffme 23 Feb

     Tracy Chapman - This Time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEhXtZ7L4YE&sns=tw … via @youtube

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     View media
131. Blakey Pants @nobettertweet 19 Mar

     Ciabatta? More like Don'tbatta. Haha! Stupid bread.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
132. GuyInOrangeShades™® @schumyxxx 21 Mar

     My boss says he's finding ways to cut costs. So he hired this expensive financial consultant to help the company out.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
133. The Amiest Amy @iammaylynn 22 Mar

     I know lightsabers don't necessarily need a sheath, but can I be yours anyway??

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
134. Blakey Pants @nobettertweet 11 Dec

     Just saw The Expendables 2. Very strong on explosions and hand to hand combat, but seriously lacking in kickflips.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
135. Nickels @SirEdSur 27 Dec

     It was awkward and a little intimidating the way your demons effortlessly swallowed my demons.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
136. Scott Taylor @ScottTlucky 14 Dec

     I upgraded Twotter on my phone last night. Apparently I am the only one who read most of last nights Tweets. One or two were really good.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
137. Lala W @Lalaw143 27 Jan

     Just added "cock sucking enthusiast " in my new resume . Even though its only a hobby

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
138. ShoutingGoddess @ShoutingGoddess 17 Mar

     Maybe I don't WANT to do good tweets..

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
139. Aspersioncast @Aspersioncast 18 Mar

     Half the bad decisions I make are just because I’m hungry, but the rest are simply normal everyday bad decisions.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
140. VirgoSherry @VirgoSherry 19 Mar

     Sometimes you just have to stand in the middle of the street and scream.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
141. Aspersioncast @Aspersioncast 10 Dec

     I really don't think I'm getting enough attention here. I think I need a site where I get more attention plus a little validation.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
142. FrauFickenDammt @FrauFickenDammt 10 Dec

     Do anything for love? I’d do anything for a life size snow man made of mashed potatoes that ejaculates gravy.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
143. rachel @getoffmyplanet 3 Dec

     If you can't think of anything to tweet, retweet.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
144. Orpheus Descending @dressedinblack 11 Dec

     Some people draw strength from sacred places residing deep within each one of you. Keep your light shining to guide them home.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
145. the name's carley @CarleyJeanD 13 Dec

     I'm sick of hearing boy bands whine on the radio while I'm cleaning the floors at KFC.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
146. Evil Schwartzie @EvilSchwartzie 28 Dec

     "If I follow someone, I expect them to follow me in return. If not, I stop following," -- also my religion policy.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
147. truly @knotta_tardfan 17 Jan

     Getting family to unfriend you on fb is harder than you'd think.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
148. snicky @snickychick 4 Feb

     anyone can learn from their mistakes, i like to be different.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
149. Theodora Chester @beingtheo 6 Feb

     If you dig deep enough, there are lots of fresh tweets from great tweeters. Dig.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
150. Susan W @Maxine12339 10 Feb

     Try not to mistake lust for love. Real love that lasts a lifetime is filled with more laughter and kindness than tears.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
151. Tortured_soul @1Tortured_soul 15 Mar

     My dancing shoes are orthopedic to correct a second left foot.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
152. Susan W @Maxine12339 10 Mar

     Must spend less time with my dogs. Haven't bitten the mailman yet but I am starting to circle three times before sitting down.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
153. blunder rated @blunder_tweets 21 Feb

     In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have taken the apartment on Wherehopecomestodie Ave.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
154. The Dork @The_Dorkster 1 Oct

     I'm going to have whatever kinda day 7 bucks and a bad attitude gets me.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
155. Garry St @CourageDR 16 Mar

     I once rapped into a fan and sounded like Lil Wayne. *Drops the mic and fan*

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
156. courtney @ocourtneyno 17 Mar

     so as it turns out raccoons aren't as nice in real life as they are in cartoons.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
157. Enrico Palazzo @coryd9 29 Nov 09

     Am I wrong to describe Twitter to a friend as a "massive online burrito update system"?

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
158. LoveScopes @LoveScopes 18 Mar

     Sweet dreams & enjoy this day. ☼ You can't change yesterday but you can ruin today worrying about tomorrow ~ George Dewiliby

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
159. Ophelia Croissant @MadamaFlutterby 18 Dec

     Priorities, said the cat and went back to sleep

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
160. Ophelia Croissant @MadamaFlutterby 28 Feb

     Maybe- its not about the happy end of life or the story etc, but about the stuff in the middle and how hard you try to make the best of it ?

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
161. Ophelia Croissant @MadamaFlutterby 10 Mar

     Note to self: faith & make up.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
162. Scott Taylor @ScottTlucky 10 Mar

     Been on Twotter for 6 or 7 months, still don't know what I'm doing. So I tried FavStar. Great, now I don't know what I'm doing in 2 places.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
163. Take.The.Red.Pill. @DJEvans00 27 Feb

     I'm just here to find out how many cupcakes you ate, how much booze you can handle, and hear you rave about all the sex you're not having.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
164. Mediocre Marvel @eliserose5 8 Nov

     I retweet a lot because it keeps me from hooking.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
165. phil @vitaminp 4 Mar

     Kindness is sexy.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
166. Paul @cynicanoldicus 3 Mar

     Words are like currency. Value is based on the faith in the issuer.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
167. Dusty Hume @DustyHume 2 Mar

     It's just my eyes, nose, phone & fingers sticking out from the covers. So awesome. I'm cozy. You can't see me. It's like we're not here.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
168. Scott Taylor @ScottTlucky 21 Oct

     Try 2 explain Twitter 2 friend. Fact I am followed by horse, 3 dogs, cat, brown paper bag and a vegetable I don't recognise, doesn't help.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
169. Lilly @CosmicCat 3 Mar

     I've already eaten my monthly allotment of nuts.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
170. Cat From Nowhere @kv8 2 Mar

     I'm practicing my chi control by using my subtle body to interact with my touchscreen. And my vibrator. And the remote. And my chi-chis. :-D

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
171. LoveScopes @LoveScopes 27 Feb

     Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you do the most are the things you will do the best. ~Marve Collins ♥

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
172. Don Pearyawn @Don_Pearyawn 8 Jan

     Listening to Piers Morgan debate gun control is like questioning the route of a colonic cleanse.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
173. Mr. Nova @TheStarMachine 10 Jan

     caring, because someone has to.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
174. Blakey Pants @nobettertweet 4 Feb

     Pretty stoked about the progression of Taylor Swift's new relationship.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
175. Travis LeBlanc @TravLeBlanc 26 Dec

     Keep retweeting me until I'm famous so that I can unfollow all of you guys and only follow my new celebrity friends.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
176. Tanya Johnston @tjinscot 14 Dec

     Tweet as if 99% of your followers don't read your tweets, because it's true.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
177. Unstatusfactory @unstatusfactory 19 Dec

     Maybe the stars you get have nothing to do with how good your tweets are, and everything to do with you awarding heaps of stars.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
178. Nickels @SirEdSur 19 Dec

     I wrote a really funny tweet about Hope. Then I realized that Hope was the only thing some people have, and that tweet wasn't funny at all.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
179. Jen @jennfer46 19 Dec

     Dammit. Favstar is being a dick. I'll try to get some more stars out later to all you lovelies

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
180. Don Pearyawn @Don_Pearyawn 18 Dec

     You know that one that unfollows during the night and somehow sneaks back in the next day? I'm gonna catch that lil' bastard 4 you 4 Xmas.

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
181. LoveScopes @LoveScopes 15 Dec

     New Tweets Daily ~ "Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be." – Raymond Charles Barker #LoveScopes ♥

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
182. LoveScopes @LoveScopes 1 Dec

     ♥ "The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." – Amelia Earhart #LoveScopes ♥

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand
183. LoveScopes @LoveScopes 29 Nov

     All men of action are dreamers. ~James Huneker, ♒ #LoveScopes ♥

     Retweeted by Jed's A Millionaire

     Expand